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Literature Text
Thank you for participating,
for doing your best,
and putting your heart into it...
but you will not be recieving
first,
runner up,
or even runner up to the runner up.
You will remain in the shroud of people
whose names won't be remembered when we look back on those dusty photos.
There you will stand, slightly to the left,
in that line of winners (and nonwinners),
smilling through the mask of pain you feel-
they can't see your heart breaking,
the tears threating to well up,
or your cheek muscles twitching.
You are told then how wonderful you were,
that many favored you to win
but fate is cruel, once more,
and you are just that,
one of the many favored to win.
Yet year after year you come back,
to feel the sting of loss
over and over across your heart,
not because you are sadistic,
but because of that fragile thing called
hope.
for doing your best,
and putting your heart into it...
but you will not be recieving
first,
runner up,
or even runner up to the runner up.
You will remain in the shroud of people
whose names won't be remembered when we look back on those dusty photos.
There you will stand, slightly to the left,
in that line of winners (and nonwinners),
smilling through the mask of pain you feel-
they can't see your heart breaking,
the tears threating to well up,
or your cheek muscles twitching.
You are told then how wonderful you were,
that many favored you to win
but fate is cruel, once more,
and you are just that,
one of the many favored to win.
Yet year after year you come back,
to feel the sting of loss
over and over across your heart,
not because you are sadistic,
but because of that fragile thing called
hope.
This was written because I've had a hard weekend artistically and in a way of sucess. I went to Poetry Out Load (like last year) and I am considered top five in the state. I didn't win it again. That is fine a great guy won it but still...I guess...I wish I had won since he only did it because it struck his fancy and I love the art form. Then I had auditions today for a play and felt like an ameture against this wonderful senior who auditioned for the same part.
I've found all my life that I've been given the "great job you did wonderful and we could really tell you cared" speech but never win? Never reach what I want? For swimming I put in more time practicing but all I ever got for an award (almost everyone else got two awards in one night every year) was a participation award for doing well at practice. My awards for school are from teachers saying "nice job for trying and doing your best." I can't beat my own peers when they are they are actually motivated...I feel defeated.
A few things I'd like to be looked at. 1) Does it reek resentment or does it show a sense of hope with the shift at the end 2) Does the way the poem is broken up help it at all? or should I change it. 3) Flow is always important to me as a preformer of poems so tell me if you think it's off. Thank you.
I've found all my life that I've been given the "great job you did wonderful and we could really tell you cared" speech but never win? Never reach what I want? For swimming I put in more time practicing but all I ever got for an award (almost everyone else got two awards in one night every year) was a participation award for doing well at practice. My awards for school are from teachers saying "nice job for trying and doing your best." I can't beat my own peers when they are they are actually motivated...I feel defeated.
A few things I'd like to be looked at. 1) Does it reek resentment or does it show a sense of hope with the shift at the end 2) Does the way the poem is broken up help it at all? or should I change it. 3) Flow is always important to me as a preformer of poems so tell me if you think it's off. Thank you.
© 2010 - 2024 punkangel41
Comments16
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I like it, there's definitely some optimism in it. One thing though, when you say "who's names won't be remembered" it should technically be "whose". Just because I'm a grammar freak, lol.